These are good words, active words, words that say I am a bad-ass, so step off. It's because of those words that I took this job, since I will be expected to design, build and commission a polarimeter for a project at Brookhaven. Unfortunately, up till now, I have only known the glory of commissioning, since most of the infrastructure was already in place for my graduate project. I never got the full trifecta of goodness. So now I am intending to fill those gaps in my physics education and, provided I do it well, successfully enter the pantheon of bad-asses.
Part of me, the engineer and the anal-retentive micro-manager, is loving the design aspect. Figuring out the details, writing up the report, thinking about the plan. Then the other half of me, the worrier racked with insecurities, is thinking about how much this would suck if I f**k something up, so please, please, please don't f**k up.