Caolionn O'Connell

Year in Review

I'm not a fan of Cliff Notes, but there have been occasions in my past when I had other priorities, like Beverly Hills, 90210, and Cliff Notes were an unfortunate necessity. I am not one to condemn those that look for the easy way out, in fact, I am willing to encourage it. So here is the Cliff Note's Caolionn edition for 2005:

1. First and foremost, there was the thesis.

2. Then there is the thesis topic over and over and over and over again. My God, do I not understand the meaning of "beating a dead horse"?!

3. In addition to wild animals, I'm not so good with planes either.

4. There was an unfortunate dabbling with hair dye. Not quite feared, but definitely questionable.

5. Too much science makes a girl really, really boring. Cure: Morocco, Mexico, Japan and the much-more exotic Washington, D.C..

6. A fascinating discussion on evolution.

7. Hot topic: women in physics.

8. Defense, a post-doc position, a new apartment and a return home.

9. Amusing interlude.

10. Harry Potter, YEAH!!

11. PRL cover publication and explanation.

12. Amusing interlude, part two.

13. GO SCIENCE!!

14. A new job and new minefields.

15. Goodbye and Thank you.
    

p.s. The site will be here indefinitely, but comments will be closed starting January 1st.

CODA

"An unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates

I did it and ... well ... now I'm done. From this self-examination I have learned one thing. Yep, just one. As it turns out, I'm not so special. In fact, I would say my life is downright common. Between my fear of wild animals to my thesis troubles, there was always a reader, or five, who had been in the exact same predicament. And I realize it is a bit cheesy to say, but it was nice to know I wasn't alone.

So thank you for being readers and sharers. I have loved the company every step of the way.

Best,
Caolionn

Happy Chrismukah or Chrisnukkah or Whatever.

Sam and I are part of the growing contingent of dual-faith households. I am Catholic by tradition and habit, but not so much belief and Sam is adamantly Jewish, although not the temple-attending kind of Jewish. My mother, unlike me, is a church-attending Catholic and, as far as she's concerned, Christmas is THE holiday. We're forced to say things like "Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus!" and the like, so you can imagine just how seriously she takes this holiday. Not surprisingly, she was slightly disappointed to find out that yet another child of hers was in a serious relationship with a non-believer. Poor lady is 0 for 3. Her disappointment quickly switched to glee when I informed her that if we were to marry, we would always be at her house for Christmas. Mom is now a BIG fan of the Jewish boyfriends for Catholic daughters concept.

I wish you all a very merry and happy Chrismukah or belated Winter Solstice or fill-in-the-blank.

Brave New World

I think I have made my obsession with the iPod abundantly clear and I have also extolled the virtues of books on mp3. Give me anything which allows me to multi-task and chances are I would be hooked within the hour. For years I have been a member of Audible.com, but lately my pocketbook has been wearing a little thin so I have been cutting back on non-essentials. One may say my addiction to online shopping should be at the top of the list, but I haven't really found a cure for that problem so far.

Back in the day before purchased my iPod, I used to check-out books on tape from the library. More often than not, I would get sucked into the book only to find out that Tape 8 was completely ruined and then curse the library for its oversight. To this day, I have yet to complete Tess of the D'Urbervilles. But the library was free, so I couldn't really complain. Now imagine my excitement to learn that the Pasadena Library System offers audio eBooks for download. No tapes and I don't even have to go to the library, just download and play. The selection's variety is not the same as Audible, but I don't have to pay a dime. What will they think of next?

The gift that keeps on giving.

What gift are you gonna get for science this year? Sure you might not adhere to the religious dogma that dictates you should give a gift, or any religious dogma for that matter, but that's no excuse. Everybody deserves a present, even science. And I don't think you can complain, when such a present doesn't cost a cent:

Einstein@Home

Come on, do your part and sacrifice a little CPU and help the search for gravitational waves. Not to mention, it has really cool graphics.

Technical Difficulties.

Sorry about the problems we've been having since Friday. Typepad is going through some growing pains, but all should be back to normal soon.

Seven.

They say that the average American gains seven pounds between Thanksgiving and New Years. It even has a name: The Seasonal Seven. Last year, I joined the ranks of average Americans and gained seven pounds. I would have like to blame the thesis, but shoveling sweets seems to be the real root of the problem. Even worse, one year later and I still haven't lost them. Because I am not a fan of learning from past mistakes, I can tell you exactly how one can gain so much weight in so little time, since it looks like I won't be escaping the clutches of the Seasonal Seven this year either. (Remember if you don't gain your seven pounds, some poor soul will gain 14 and no one should be that cruel.)

• Caramel covered apples. One with nuts and one with chocolate.
  
• Chicken enchiladas and green corn tamales. Two plates.
  
• Those chocolates with hazel nuts. Three.
  
• Marshmallows in the shape of snowmen. A handful. I stole the bag for later.
  
• Three frozen Margaritas.
  
• Mother's holiday frosted cookies. A handful.
  
• Gingerbread cookies. Lost count.
  
• A cheese course. (My sister-in-law was in France and sent a care package).
  
• Someone's homemade sugar cookies. I am not a fan of sugar cookies, but they slathered the icing on real thick, so I ate those too.
  

Maybe I should start thinking about whether or not I want to start training for a marathon.

Y?

I don't get it. This is a picture of the main library on Caltech's campus dressed in lights for the holidays. I see the whole Christmas tree motif. Nice, standard, normal. I'm totally with them so far. But then they cap the tree off with an "L". Why? Am I missing something? Is there some meaning I should attach to the letter L and the holidays? I am totally drawing a blank here. Any ideas?

The Eternal Optimist

This is my blue folder:

Before I go home, I fill my blue folder with things I would like to read more carefully, stuff I need to edit and other small things that got overlooked during the day. Every evening, my blue folder never leaves my backpack, yet I am convinced that tonight will be the night I don't have something to do, no bills to be paid, no mess that needs to be cleaned, no show that I am dying to see. I always believe tonight will be different and I'll be able to do a little extra work. It seems I am always wrong, but I keep bringing the damn thing home. I am inclined to start leaving my blue folder at work, but I know the day I do that, I'll have nothing to do.

Too much merry

So in the spirit of holiday cheer, Sam and I threw a party last Thursday. We thought it would be a simple, subdued affair to eat, drink and be merry. We thought wrong. Instead there was too much drinking, way too much merry, not enough eating and cops knocking on the door. Needless to say, the next day was spent cursing nature for not supplying us each with an extra liver because we clearly exceeded the limitations of the one provided. There was also the rather depressing realization that both of us still haven't learned the importance of moderation despite being what some would call "adults".

I managed a rather spectacular recovery by late afternoon, whereas Sam was still refusing to eat and drink anything for fear of upsetting the delicate balance he achieved. After I went out to dinner with my sister, I called Sam to see if there was anything he was willing to eat or drink at that point. Perrier. He could handle a little Perrier. Because I am a firm believer that you're really only paying for the silent 'r', I recommended club soda instead. Despite being in the throes of a hangover, Sam was ready for a little experiment and thought I should pick up both so we could do a blind taste test. I am happy to announce, you're just paying for silent 'r'. I am also happy to announce, club soda really does help a hangover.

Quantum Universe

I have been more than forthcoming in these posts regarding my lack of love for physics classes, so much so I am sure more than one of you has questioned my choice to become a physicist. But if I was going to be really honest, I should have footnoted that statement and confessed I actually really liked my quantum classes. Not only was it a little trippy (I mean, the cat is half dead AND half alive until you look at it, DAMN!), but there was something zen-like about solving the problems. I have distinct memories of staying up until 4am in the common kitchen of my dorm putting the final touches on a 40-page problem set and feeling very satisfied about it. All of it so elegant, so beautiful – I honestly loved it.

Don't look at me that way, we all have our dirty little secrets and this one happens to be mine.

Unlike most of my other classes, quantum mechanics was interesting to me in the abstract and I really never thought much about its applications and never really cared about the practical problems. Blessed be the infinite square well and other useless scenarios. But I probably should have paid more attention to the hydrogen-like atom in external magnetic and electric fields problem, 'cause I have been thinking about that exact situation a lot lately. So after a rather long absence from quantum, I am back to working with Clebsch-Gordon coefficients and Hamiltonians, but now I have a graduate student to do all the math for me. I believe this is what they call the high life. And yes, I am loving it.

Brrr.

How is it that this school is filled with engineers up the ying-yang, but somehow they were unable to design a building with reasonable air flow? Come on people, let's put your stellar engineering talents to something good, like well-designed heating systems inside old buildings. When your fingers are blue and the fleece/parka combo isn't cutting it INSIDE your office, there is a problem. I will be the first to admit I have a low tolerance for cold, but if the floor below you is a good 10 degrees warmer, something's not right. Should you not hear from me, I will be curled up on my desk in hypothermic shock.

Obsession

Other than posting, the bloggers at QD don't have anything to do with running the site. This means we have no idea about the hits per day, who's reading the site and other various stats that most other bloggers know. So except for those of you who comment (a big thank you, by the way), it sometimes feels like we are writing out into the ether. Now as much as I have been curious about the details, I think it is best that I have been kept in the dark based on a rather curious reason - Ebay.

Ebay, the great market equalizer, is probably one of the greatest inventions. Basically it is your generic garage sale hopped up on steroids and I love it. Because my closet was getting a little cluttered and my wallet a little thin, I decided to sell some stuff. Since I listed, I have started checking on my items a minimum of 20 times a day. How many hits, how many people are watching the auction, how much is it going for? It has become my obsession. Thank God, the sale only lasts 7 days. To think, if I actually had access to the stats on this site, would I ever get any work done?

The Silver Lining

Sure, the smog in southern California can be so thick, the San Gabriel Mountains, which loom over Pasadena, become mere shadows on the horizon. But then again, we have some pretty f**king amazing sunsets. You win some, you lose some.

Basking.

Condensing a thesis into a palatable 10 pages or less and depressing and difficult. Depressing because you know how much work went into the single word "optimize" and as much as you would like to relive every painful little detail for the pity points from your reader, you know no ones really cares. Difficult because you are now only comfortable explaining concepts based on chapter and section formation, so being succinct just isn't easy when you have already blathered on endlessly about a topic.

But finally, after SIX months, I have a draft to submit to my collaborators on the plasma wake field experiment. Ignoring for a moment the fact that it took me SIX months to write it, my advisor seemed particularly proud about it after all the edits. Hearing words like "excellent" and "really good" from someone you admire, made me feel totally warm and fuzzy, especially since I know he's not the type to gush praise. Granted it took me SIX months to finish, so it damn well better be "excellent" and "really good", but that is beside the point when you are feeling warm and fuzzy.